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BLTs are a Universal Truth

July 19th, 2007 by Jeff Simmermon

BLT Sandwich
Originally uploaded by jasonperlow

You can’t conjure up resonant, universal truths on purpose. They just have to happen, right in front of you or dribble out from between the lips by accident for someone else to discover.

There was this discussion on Metafilter today about bacon salt. Not that it wouldn’t have caught my attention anyway — who wouldn’t want to learn more about bacon salt — but having just read about bacon ice cream in the Post, I clicked a little faster.

The chat itself was okay, pretty good by Metafilter standards (read: nobody got crapped on), but this comment from a guy called Divine_Wino slapped me in the face like a big cold carp made out of universal truth:

I don’t know about bacon salt, really, but just think about this for a minute:

You cook up some of that thick slab bacon, slooooowly. Then you take some fresh sliced sourdough bread and toast it lightly. Then you cut up one New Jersey beefsteak tomato (wait till you get a good one!), you need four thick slices because you are going to end up eating two of these, then one (ONE) piece of red leaf lettuce or Romaine (you need about 1/3 stem/thick end to leaf ratio), not too wet from when you rinse it under the tap. Mayo, fresh ground black pepper …

Here is the amazing thing about this amazing sandwich, really, really, anyone can make it and it’s fucking delicious, it’s the most democratic thing in the world a BLT, with a BLT every man is a king, every woman is president-for-life, every dog is a pony.

Drink ice water while you are eating your BLT’s and then quickly go wash your hands and face and lie down on a freshly made bed in an airconditioned room, read sci-fi paperbacks from the seventies, take a little nap.

That’s about as good as being a human being gets, I’m pretty sure.

That’s summer afternoons at my grandparents’, trips to my aunt and uncles’ farm, long slow weekends with plans for later but nothing much to do right now and the splendor of simplicity all in three paragraphs. Try pulling that one off on purpose and see how it goes.

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