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Not Just a Shitty Song By Extreme — Magic Phrases Are More Than Words

February 13th, 2008 by Jeff Simmermon

I’ve been having a secret love affair since 2002, and it’s time the word got out.

This isn’t an affair with a person or anything — it’s an affair with words, words so magical and hilarious that I snicker whenever every I say them. My heart aches to hear someone special say these words aloud, to understand the total magical experience it is to say these words so silly and so perfect. This phrase, it kicks the corners of your mouth up into a smile when it stumbles across your lips, happy and drunk on sunlight.

And man, there are just not enough chances in life to say these words, either. It’s a real stretch every time.

Do you have those phrases in your life, ones you love dearly? I’m not talking about cliches here, the slipshod sloppy mortar that pastes half-baked thoughts into casual conversation. And I’m not referring to little on-ramps like “this is the thing,” or “how’s that working out for you?” I’m talking about something else entirely. I’m talking about words as magic, words as art, a small simple string of words that conjures the bold and the silly, the ridiculous and the mighty.

My phrase, my OM, my verbal power chakra or whatever hippie bullshit powers you want to invoke, is this:

festooned with curly turds

There’s a real ring to it, don’t you think?

What are some of your favorites? Why?

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