On Star Trek, a character is typically denoted as being of an alien species simply by giving them some sort of cranial abnormality. Vulcans have pointy ears, Klingons have forehead ridges, and Ferengi look like Klingons cross-bred with Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Now, what Star Trek’s creature design team is overlooking, as far as I’m concerned, is the intense transformative power of full-blown, gravity-defying, gonzo-freakout beards and moustaches.

Above, we have Jurgen Burkhardt. He took home the title of “Best Freestyle Sideburns” at the 2007 World Beard & Moustache Championships (WBMCs), held in Brighton, England. And here we have fan favorite Willi Chevalier, whose triple-handlebar moustache/beard combo was once dubbed a “hair pretzel” by NPR’s Robert Siegel:

The 2009 WBMCs were held on May 23rd in Anchorage, Alaska — marking only the second time that these gents have taken their turns on the hirsute runway in the U.S.

The results aren’t out yet, but I’m willing to bet my sad 3-day scruff that two-time “Full Beard Freestyle” champion Elmar Weisser took the top honors again:

Yes, folks… that is a windmill, London’s Tower Bridge, and Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate — rendered in the man’s own facial hair.

Let’s see the Borg assimilate that shit.