Excuse Me, Waiter…? There’s a Large Bird of Prey in My Soup.
Hey, how was your lunch today? Yeah? Good.
Oh, mine was fine.
Well… there was this one part where A F***ING HAWK FLEW INTO THE RESTAURANT WHERE I WAS EATING, AND LANDED ON MY FOOD.
Yeah. really.
I was sitting at a window seat next to the open door, and my food had just been brought out. I looked down to see this guy (or gal – I don’t know hawks) just standing in the doorway, looking back and forth. After surveying the place for a few seconds, it flapped its way in and up onto one of the empty tables.
The guy working the counter came out, and we were both (slowly and carefully) snapping pictures with our phones. The hawk didn’t react to us apart from turning his head to look back and forth between us — even when said employee said:
“Man, you inna wrong place, bird! Dontchu know this a chicken joint?”
But after few more calm seconds, once we were just standing there trying to figure out what the hell to do next, the hawk leapt up and made a beeline through the air directly at yours truly. I executed what could only have been a remarkably awkward yell-and-dodge maneuver, and turned around to see it standing on my two-piece-with-side-and-soda combo, just chilling and looking out the window wistfully, as though a Sarah McLachlan song were playing in its head.
The hawk just sat there for a little while, getting jerk BBQ sauce all over its talons and looking all emo, until it was spooked by the restaurant’s delivery guy walking in, whereupon it shot past all of us into the kitchen.
The counter guy, the delivery guy and I heard a few pots clanging as we debated calling animal control versus just trying to shoo it back out the door, when one of the cooks who was back there caught the hawk with his bare hands, and walked it back outside.
“What restaurant was this?”
I am so glad that you asked.
The place is called, I kid you not… “BIRDIE’S”.
* drops the mic *
June 18th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Un-effin-believable. But I believe it.
June 18th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
That hawk looks young. Perhaps it hasn’t quite figured out how to hunt yet, and is in the awkward ‘teenage’ stage.
This story is badass. I wonder if the cook also slices & dices the chicken dishes with his bare hands.
June 18th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
I guess it’s the same bird, but the one on the table looks like a homeless mess
June 18th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
“Aw, come on! I called in my order like a half hour ago!”
Looks like a juvenile red-tailed hawk that got a bit . . . er . . . disoriented.
It seems a bit ruffled by the experience.
June 18th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
that looks like a fledging hawk, doesn’t have all it’s adult plumage yet. probably still learning how to fly, hence “stumbling” in the restaurant and landing in your food. glad the cook took it back outside!
June 18th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
[...] at And I Am Not Lying and [...]
June 18th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Obvious question: did the restaurant redo your order or reimburse you in any way?
June 18th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
IM IN UR BBQ, WARMIN MY FEETS
Sorry, somebody had to say it.
June 18th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
popurls.com // popular today…
story has entered the popular today section on popurls.com…
June 18th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
look…everybody gets hungry, o.k.?
Even Hawks.
People need to stop panicking everytime a fellow creature on this planets goes by.
June 18th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Damn that Mac and Cheese looks good.
June 18th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
i can has bbq?!
June 18th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
[...] A F***ING HAWK flew into the restaurant where I was eating lunch and LANDED ON MY FOOD.andiamnotlying.com [...]
June 19th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Yoo, hoo, folks, two different birds, two different buildings. Bird in lunch is a fully mature hawk w/full flight feathers. Compare to wings of bird in second photo, it is obvious second bird is juvenile in early part of “flight training”. Nice story, though, pretty creative.
P.S. NY gets lots of tourist $$ from the hawks nesting on skyscrapers every spring.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:00 am
@Katie:
ROFL
June 19th, 2009 at 3:02 am
That’s a great history. You know that almost all ancient cultures would take the bird thing as a messenger of good news?
June 19th, 2009 at 3:10 am
[...] there was this one part where A F***ING HAWK FLEW INTO THE RESTAURANT WHERE I WAS EATING, AND LANDED ON MY FOOD. Tagged as: birdy, hawks, lunch No Comments Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) ( subscribe to [...]
June 19th, 2009 at 3:46 am
Fantastic, this story made my day.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:20 am
Whats in the green bowl dude?
RT
http://www.anonymity.tk
June 19th, 2009 at 4:46 am
IM IN UR BBQ, WARMIN MY FEETS… ERR
June 19th, 2009 at 4:50 am
That is the greatest story EVER! What’s happening is called an “Ecotone” — where feral life and human civilization meet. Poor bird.
Now for the weird news — a bird flying into a building foretells a death. Of what or whom, will be discovered, usually within 3 days to 3 weeks. Let us know what happens. Birds flying into places have always been a harbinger of a major loss.
Stay well.
Maldoror
June 19th, 2009 at 4:58 am
major lack of acorns last year. [google for clarity]. no acorns means squirrels starved over winter. hardly any squirrels means hardly any food for already confused urban raptors. thanks for sharing. awesome.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:58 am
You have an immature Cooper’s hawk in your soup! She has a long tail in relation to her body and a flat look to her head–textbook Cooper’s hawk. She’s brown and white with a yellow eye–that’s immature or first year plumage. And I say “she” because females are larger than males in the raptor world and based on her size compared to your chicken…that’s female.
She looks like she’s been in the rain and if she’s young, she’s still honing her hunting skills. She was probably chasing some sparrows or pigeons, and dodged in the door. Or the thought, “Screw hunting, I’m takin’ that dude’s chicken.”
Awesome post!
June 19th, 2009 at 5:31 am
That is really too cool. Glad you got pictures otherwise that would’ve been a hard one to believe
June 19th, 2009 at 6:20 am
It’s a baby Cooper Hawk & was probably starving & doesn’t know how to hunt yet; the teaching parent may have been killed & she’s trying to make it on her own. She may have seen food through the windows but evolution doesn’t breed for windows, so luckily she came in the “door of the cave” at Birdies. You should have thrown her some raw chicken. She looks bad, her feathers are messed up. Hope she makes it.
June 19th, 2009 at 7:13 am
It’s not all gloom and doom, her feathers are just very wet, it looks like it’s raining outside in the photos or she has just taken a bath. I actually got video of a young Coops bathing in a puddle on a roof and she got just as wet as this bird:
http://www.birdchick.com/wp/2007/05/thats-one-dirty-bird/
She flew away without any problems.
These photos are not an indication that this hawk is either starving or an “orphan.” It’s not uncommon for young Coops learning to hunt wind up in strange places, that’s how they learn their technique–it’s like a 15 year old with a learner’s permit.
And feeding her raw chicken wouldn’t not have helped–it would have her associate humans with food (not good) and the parts of the chicken we eat are not nutritious for hawks–they want hearts, livers, brains–that’s where they get their nutrition.
June 19th, 2009 at 7:16 am
That one ratty ass bird, i wouldnt eat that
June 19th, 2009 at 7:33 am
@Mary-Anne
I doubted the story, till I took a close look at the window and matched the phone number up with Birdie’s on 1st Avenue. It’s a real place. And the second picture, it looks like the hawk is just freaked out.
Birdie’s
149 1st Ave
New York, NY 10003-2930
(212) 529-2512
June 19th, 2009 at 7:45 am
Brilliant!
June 19th, 2009 at 8:09 am
That’s a good cook. I wonder what he would have done if a live chicken had wandered back there, given the place’s menu.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:13 am
That’s hilarious! It reminds me of when I went to Niagara Falls with some friends and was dining on the outdoor patio. The birds were everywhere…finches on the leftovers, and big seagulls were giving us the evil eye, waiting to make their move.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Ah good old Birdie’s. Use to eat there all the time when I lived on 10th street.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:22 am
Interesting what the cook says:
“Man, you inna wrong place, bird! Dontchu know this a chicken joint?”
Actually, that would have made perfect sense. The bird’s a raptor, whose primary diet consists of other birds caught in the wild. If I was an immature bird of prey and was looking to bum a meal, a chicken joint would be at the top of the list, maybe right after a fish shop.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:26 am
The question that nobody as asked is if the cook that removed the bird the really yolked dude? Because I think he could easily take out several birds of prey in a fight.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Clearly, this bird is a Chickenhawk.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Look carefully in first pic, see outside window a can of coke attached to chair with sign leaning up against it…. i think the bird was meant to be there, perched, then came in…but it was not as spontaneous as the author felt
June 19th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Oliver,
I’m not following you here. Are you implying that the hawk usually hangs out in front of the chicken store sitting in its own chair, sipping on a Coke and watching the world go by? Sort of like the Sopranos at the pork store?
June 19th, 2009 at 9:03 am
@Mary-Anne, @Ramstone: I assure you, only one hawk and one dining establishment were involved. I guess it just looks better from angle #1, giving that saucy over-the-shoulder look.
June 19th, 2009 at 9:15 am
BEST lunch story ever. Hilarious, and full of nature facts. I had no idea that hawks like jerk chicken.
June 19th, 2009 at 9:38 am
I always say, anyone who can hack working in a commercial kitchen can do damn near anything. He probably enjoyed the break in his routine, talons or no talons.
I had an immature Cooper’s hawk take a sparrow off my feeder recently. She sat there on the ground and methodically cleaned and devoured her little victim as I watched from five feet away. She barely left a blood spot. The feeder was deserted for days after that. Can’t imagine why.
June 19th, 2009 at 9:44 am
That second bird looks completely different from the first…
I think this might be a farce.
Cute story in its idea, though.
June 19th, 2009 at 9:49 am
I’m pretty sure those are two different birds. Look at the plumage and especially the beak. Probably somebody found both these photos and concocted a humorous narrative to go along with them. (Somebody get Snopes on the horn!)
June 19th, 2009 at 10:06 am
That is so cool, and even better that you got some pictures.
June 19th, 2009 at 10:11 am
These are clearly the same bird in each picture. If you look closely, you can see that the feathers of the bird sitting on the plate of chicken has ruffled feathers, too. Hint: Look at the tail feathers.
This is a great story. Thanks for sharing.
June 19th, 2009 at 10:19 am
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/6/19/128899054139525372.jpg
June 19th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Unless two birds flew into Birdies that’s the same bird, both pics are in the same restaurant. I used to live two blocks away from it and eat there all the time.
Btw… incredible mac and cheese and even better jerk chicken. and excellent sweet tea
June 19th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I see the problem. You ordered the field mouse soup.
June 19th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Hello,
You have a recently fledged Red-tailed Hawk, probably from a nest in Tompkins Square Park – it is not a Cooper’s Hawk – and it is the same bird in all photos. Great story – email me for more info about NYC Red-tails – info is free.
Thanks – Robert DeCandido PhD
June 19th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
That cook would make a killing at a cockfight.
June 19th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
That is an immature Red-Tailed hawk. Likely just fledged from the nest and learning to hunt. The bird probably was chasing prey like another bird or squirrel and the door was open in the resturaunt. Sometimes hawks end up in strange places. Useful informational Site: http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide (Cornell University).
June 19th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
THIS is for the BIRDZZZZ
June 19th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/6/19/128899237053534351.jpg
June 19th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Man, I hate birds. This just proves my point.
June 19th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I’m glad to see a few posts with the correct ID on the bird. Small for a Red-tailed Hawk, immature male. They’re common in cities, having adapted well to urban and suburban life. And yes, same bird in both pics. Mary-Anne was incorrect, sorry. I have over 10 years experience working with raptors, so I’m confident of the ID. Dr. Robert & Kitty got it right.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Great publicity for the restaurant. I’ll have to swing by there next time I’m in the Village, just make sure I stay out of the kitchen.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
That’s a chicken, Boy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OnHsHTQ8E&feature=related
June 19th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Great story, Jeff!
June 19th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Um, can you spell “taxidermy”?
June 20th, 2009 at 7:42 am
The young Red-tailed Hawk had likely fledged within the week and was clearly in crisis. Rangers were contacted and I received an email that it was brought in to the animal hospital yesterday. Hopefully, it should be alright. BTW – How was the chicken?
June 20th, 2009 at 8:04 am
FYI:
http://citybirder.blogspot.com/2009/06/tompskins-square-fledgling-trouble.html
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:05 am
hilarious – whats with birds in the city?
http://pineappleope.com/beware-human-eating-birds-attacking-pedestrians-omfg/
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I’d just go ahead and eat the meal as-is. Looks like it wasn’t too molested by talons.
July 11th, 2009 at 11:01 am
I know that place. I think you have to ask them to “hold the hawk” when you order.
July 12th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
We have a Birdies in Kansas City, but it’s a terminally hip handmade bra and panty emporium.
My spell check doesn’t know “panty.” Maybe THAT’s my problem?
July 15th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I know that Hawk! His first name is Mike.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:09 am
yes, but WHERE did it happen? address or neighborhood?
July 19th, 2009 at 6:11 am
So did they give you a replacement BBQ for free?
August 6th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Did it fly away with your chicken? Or was it choosing you to be it’s master?
November 8th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I love how only one person out of 30 has noticed it’s two different birds.
November 8th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
hahahahaha amazing
November 10th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Hi BirdChick,
Just wanted to comment, on your comment : ), that the parts of the chicken that aren’t nutritious for the hawks aren’t for us humans, either, and vice versa.
It seems only humans are stupid enough to avoid the nutritious parts of animals, because of sill notions like ‘they are gorss, or ditry’ etc. or if not avoided, then heated and cooked ‘ultra pasteurized’ etc. until the food or drink is not only void of all nutrition and use to our bodies, but can also be downright harmful (e.g./q.v. RealkMilik.com)
December 7th, 2009 at 11:29 am
First that that occurred to me at the end was it’d be in competition for a winner of Tall-Tales Night in the Callahan bar. Great story.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 am
Bullshit simple as that
January 3rd, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Great story after an experience I had recently. While sitting in a hot tub with only my head exposed on my patio, a 12″ plus red tail hawk perched in a tree 20 ft from me. I decided to commune with nature and admire it by being especially still but after only a few seconds the raptor flew right at me diverting its path shortly before reaching me. It passed within arms length and continued on. It was then that I realized I was its intended meal. Next time I won’t be so still and I’ll have a sign posted reading, “Eat at Birdies”.
January 13th, 2010 at 5:30 am
Hawks are so cool, had one once…
January 25th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Oh this happened to me and some people from my choir my sophomore year in high school when we went to San Fransisco and headed into China town, though we had a pigeon not a hawk.
February 11th, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Well Delivered, D. Billy.
April 20th, 2010 at 10:37 pm
only in new york.
April 21st, 2010 at 1:15 pm
Almost an entire BBQ’d bird, a huge bowl of mac and cheese and… a Diet Pepsi. This Hawk is like “seriously? who are you kidding?”.
April 23rd, 2010 at 4:58 pm
@katie: your comment was so cute I had to LAWL XD
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:06 pm
I believe this was a pioneering hawk trying to learn how to get chicken from a restaurant. After having no luck with the waiter he decided to take his business straight to the kitchen.
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:16 pm
Fucking awesome.
April 24th, 2010 at 5:19 am
Reminds me of the monkeys in Bali, they’ll take the food right outta your hands, the hat off your head and the camera from your hands.
April 26th, 2010 at 7:11 am
Ummm those are two seperate hawks in those pictures
April 26th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
DINOSAURS!
April 27th, 2010 at 7:42 am
i think the hawk was trying to solve the murder of a dead hawk friend, and saw that you were enjoying poultry and was checking to see if that was indeed his hawk friend… when he noticed it was merely a corpse of a chicken, he decided to go on about his investigation… hahaha, but yeah, crazy story, even without my little addition
April 27th, 2010 at 9:41 am
does any one believe that the plate is balanced on top of cutlery which is resting on a curved window sill? The plate is clearly elevated above the pop etc and there is dowling rising up under the plate which is probably sitting on the birds perch. Good story though.
April 28th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
It’s a wet juvy red-tail – no way its a Coopers…the tail only looks long in the first picture because of the angle at which the photo was taken. Look at the size of its feet. Those are the toes of a red-tailed hawk.
April 30th, 2010 at 2:23 am
haha That was great! Hope you got your meal replaced for free!
April 30th, 2010 at 5:39 am
Everyone’s so naive. Look at their feet, it’s really obvious that these are photoshopped. Poorly, at that.
April 30th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
red tail, they nest near central park
May 2nd, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Uhhh excuse me, taxidermy anyone ?
May 2nd, 2010 at 8:08 pm
Oh yeah and I forgot, nice publicity stunt turned “viral”. Stumble upon sent me here so the page get a vigorous thumb down.
May 10th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
those are 2 different birds. i am positive.
May 11th, 2010 at 10:29 pm
it is the same bird, it just looks different because the orientation of the bird in each photo as well the lighting difference between the photos..
May 12th, 2010 at 4:59 am
Dear “Two Different Hawks”es and “Obviously Photoshopped”s, and “Fake!”s:
ENOUGH ALREADY.
Yes, the same bird looks different from different angles, in different types of light, shot through the lens of a camera phone.
If you’ll notice, the color IN GENERAL is different between the two photos. The tone of the wood, the white balance, the exposure… it’s a camera phone. Technology is imperfect. Get over it.
And the fact that the bird’s plumage is asymmetrical – nature, too, is imperfect. Embrace that wonderful fact… and then get over it.
Or just note that the owner and employees were interviewed about, and confirmed the incident:
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/06/20/2009-06-20_hey_pal_dont_hawk_my_lunch.html
…and GET the f*ck OVER IT.
Sorry, wet blankets – sometimes life IS weird and kind of amazing.
August 24th, 2010 at 7:23 am
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