Cool Guy

Originally uploaded by chinese_fashion

I get randomly placed body acne. Like, just one zit on my elbow. Or two on the right calf, something like that.

I think it’s because of this: when I was a teenager, I had horrible acne, pustular galactic constellations all over my face. I used to pray to God at night and say “Look, I’ll cut you a deal. If I am destined to have this acne, so be it. But could you at least spread it around a little, maybe hide it under my clothing? Because I am trying to score my first kiss right now and this isn’t helping.”

Eventually my face cleared up. And I thought my prayers had been answered. The prayers from before I started bargaining with God.

But as it turns out, I got a loan from the almighty and now I’m paying down on the principal.

As I type this, I am developing a truly impressive corker on the back side of that little tab of flesh that guards my left ear canal. Nobody can see it, it’s hidden from sunlight.

But it’s huge and very painful. It makes the left side of my head feel heavy, like a fishing sinker’s been jammed down in there.

And when I try to pop it, the left side of my body convulses. The only thing that keeps me trying is dreaming of that amplified popping sound and a hot gush of creamy relief trickling down towards my brain.

You may be asking yourself: “Why are you even telling me this?”

Because I’m telling EVERYBODY, that’s why …

This photo above is fricking priceless, I’m aware of that. More on the photo itself here.