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Brunch is for Assholes

August 17th, 2010 by Jeff Simmermon

I was walking down Bedford Avenue to Five Leaves with a couple of my tight bros from way back in Norfolk for brunch, right. That god-awful heat like Galactus-sized dog breath had broken, we hadn’t seen each other in way too long, things were pretty much perfect, really.

Then this guy came around the corner and topped that sundae with a shiny red cherry:

Brunch is for Assholes

He was on his way to brunch, too. For real.

The way I see it, being an asshole is a temporary condition like being hungry or having to go to the bathroom really bad. It comes and goes like waves on a pond, and it’s useless to think that you’re NEVER going to be an asshole. It happens, you deal with it, apologize when you can, and move on.

I think that you should try to wring as much enjoyment out of life as you can. It’s too short not to have somee fun every chance you get. And as long as you’re fated to be an asshole sometimes, you might as well enjoy that state while you can, too. Assholes are really, really good at having a good time at the expense of everything else. Sometimes that’s a pretty good way to be. Just know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, and enjoy that great big drippy burger topped with cheese, beets and fried eggs with a side of whiskey while you can.

That’s what I had at Five Leaves and asshole or not, it was spectacular.

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