Those of us who grew up watching the G.I. Joe cartoon series and its associated public service announcements in the 1980s — many of whom are dying a little on the inside every time we see another preview trailer for G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra — are well aware that “Knowing Is Half The Battle”. But what about the other half? Well, design team Nerduo (my pal Mike Essl and his pal Robb Irrgang) have taken the liberty of breaking down “The Battle” for us in its statistical entirety with this easy-to read pie chart, and slapped that nugget of knowledge on a limited edition t-shirt, which is available on their website:
As I type this, zero hour for the US general election is drawing ridiculously close. By now, most voters have made their choices… even if they’re claiming to be “undecided” just so people will pay attention to them. Jeff and I are solid on who we’re not voting for, and I was pretty much a lock on who would be getting my (at this point purely symbolic) little slice of the New York popular vote… until I saw these:
Jeff sent me a link to an awesome, fun, faux-vintage sci-fi short film a while back, and I mean to share it with y’all, but it slipped my mind… until I was flipping through a sketchbook and found this hastily scrawled list of cultural references that I saw while watching it for the first time:
She-Ra, Princess of Power. Lord of the Rings. American Apparel advertisements. The Neverending Story. Mario Bros. Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future. “The Clapper”. Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Space Invaders. Silverhawks. Batman. Thundercats. Tron.
These things, in no particular order, sprung to mind immediately for me. Some of them are obviously intentional, others perhaps unintentional but likely to be seen by anyone who grew up when I did and watched the same stuff. Still others were triggered by a small detail or action in the video that other folks might not notice or associate in the same way. Anyway, here it is!
Grey and foggy days used to terrify me. As a small child, I’d have full-blown panic attacks when I was in the woods or even tall grass with my family on an overcast, misty day. I was sure that a rotting arm would punch its way up through the dirt and grab my ankle. Or worse, the undead would snatch my family and spare me, leaving me in the world utterly alone.
I spent a lot of time alone in the car reading X-Men comics in those years, on the grey fall days when my mom and dad would want to get out into the country as a family and get some fresh air in the country.
“Fuck togetherness, there’s zombies out there,” I’d think, huddling down onto the floor of the car after my mom got tired of pleading me to come outside.
For some reason, the zombies were out to torture me and me only. I knew my family would be safe if I wasn’t with them — the undead would just lie there and let them pass unmolested, leave them to move around like the rest of the earth’s walking meat. As the Chosen One, sworn enemy of the non-living, I had a responsibility to protect my family and sometimes it got a little lonely.
“We Are The World” was the freaking Justice League of ’80s music. Every heavy-hitter got together in one room and crooned it out for the starving kids in Africa. And you know, it totally worked, too!
When I say “heavy hitter,” I mean:
Michael Jackson
Billy Joel
Diana Ross
Ray Charles
Stevie Wonder
Bruce Springsteen
Cyndi Lauper
Tina Turner
and so many more! What could be more awesome than every ’80s superstar getting together in one room and crooning it out for Africa? Think about it …
Give up? I’ll tell you:
The only thing that could be more awesome than “We Are the World” itself is this:
“We Are the World” sung by a crew of Japanese impersonators impersonating everyone listed above.
