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July 1st, 2008 by D.Billy
It’s a tough time for Captain America. Advances in military technology have made a jacked-up dude with discus skills all but obsolete on the battlefield, the current U.S. administration is one that ol’ Steve Rogers might not be too stoked to shill for, and his rumored cameo in the Louis Leterrier / Ed Norton Incredible Hulk film was cut. And he was also assassinated last year, which will put anyone out of sorts. So until the upcoming Avengers movie gives Cap something worthwhile to do, we’re just going to assume that he’s sitting around his apartment in his robe and Al Gore post-2004 election beard, swigging the fire water and staring longingly at a picture of the Red Skull in front of the TV.
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Archives Posts
July 25th, 2007 by Jeff Simmermon
I see you in the bathroom in my office every afternoon at about four o’clock. I think we’re on the same cycle that way. I think you’re a VIP in your company judging from the deferential reverence in younger men’s voices as they talk to you at the sinks and urinals. You respond to in clipped, quick sentences. It’s obvious that your words are almost as precious as your time, and given just as sparingly. You’ve got decisions to make, places to be, and barely enough time to take lunch.
This afternoon you strode purposefully into the bathroom, robotically munching Cheez-Its from a little bag. Without wasting a single motion, you unzipped, pulled EVERYTHING out and started pissing away a good two feet from the toilet — using both free hands to keep eating those Cheez-Its.
If you’re that busy, you’re in heart attack territory, man. And then where will you be? Dead on the floor, lying in a puddle with your piece out and Cheez-its on your lips. That’s no way for a man of industry to go.
Going to the bathroom is important, and so is snacking. Nobody is so important that they have to do both simultaneously. That’s not efficient, it’s just nasty.
Take a little time to taste the Cheez-its. Get outside, get a little air, some sunshine. You’re building a world and that’s great, but take some time to enjoy the world you’re in. It’s a hell of a mess, but there’s some beautiful stuff if you stop and look.
Take care, man. Take care.
–Jeff
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