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We Had Us A Show The Other Night

April 29th, 2011 by Jeff Simmermon

I would have mentioned this earlier, but I’ve been crippled with a bog monster infestation – a whole bunch of them set up shop in my sinus cavities and have been using my lungs as a fricking waterslide. I coughed so hard the other night that I think I gave myself a small hernia.

That’s got nothing to do with what I’m talking about here, though.

What I’m here to talk about is that we had us a show a few weeks back, and it went really well! I had a ton of fun, despite some really frustrating technical difficulties in the beginning.

The Kraine Theater is this dank, crumbling space in the East Village, the sort of place that feels like it’s haunted by a bunch of old men in long raincoats. It made a certain kind of sonic sense to hear someone kick over a beer bottle during the show, and when an old lady showed up in a sun hat with a Mike-Tyson face tattoo drawn on with eye liner, I wasn’t even surprised. OF COURSE we had one of those. It was that kind of show.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I still wanted to kick the wrinkles out of that old bat when she started heckling the comedian. I like weirdos in the audience and all, but I really prefer when they stay quiet.

Still, I had a ton of fun, and I’m pretty sure the crowd did, too.

I talked to the theater director about the show today, and I think we are going to start doing this quarterly.

One thing I know, though: we’re bringing this show up to Albany, NY in mid-August. We’ll be performing in Saint Joe’s Church, what appears to be this amazing crumbling cathedral in downtown Albany. I’d love to make a little tour out of it, maybe play in Boston, Providence, BUffalo, what have you. If any of you book shows in bars, clubs or theaters in that area and want some storytellers and burlesque people to come up, do please let me know.

And if you happened to be in the audience on Sunday, thank you so, so much for coming. It was a jam, for real.

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The Ghostbusters Firehouse Is Right in Tribeca

April 11th, 2011 by Jeff Simmermon

The always-excellent ScoutingNY blog has an excellent post tracking down all of the exterior locations in Ghostbusters. I was pretty amazed to see that the firehouse that was the Ghostbusters’ home base is still functional, and just a few blocks from my gym — right there on the corner of North Moore and Varick Street.

Naturally, I went over there and took a few pics:

Ghostbusters Firehouse 1

Ghostbusters Firehouse 2

It’s still fully functional. I wonder how long it takes for the magic to wear off for the firefighters that get assigned there.

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I’m in Austin, TX at South by Southwest Interactive

March 9th, 2011 by Jeff Simmermon

By the time you read this, I’ll be in Austin. Right now I’m in an airport hotel outside of Dallas, after a pretty serious cock-up this afternoon in freeway traffic that lead to me missing my flight. A couple hassled phone calls and one sad sandwich later, here I am.

I’ll be in Austin, TX from March 10th to the 17th, taking part in Spring Break for Aging Hipster Nerds, AKA South by Southwest Interactive. If any of you folks want to say hi, hunt me down. Last year a woman recognized me on the freaking street, which puffed my ego up for several months after. Maybe it doesn’t need your help.

You can arrange something via the comments here, or find me on Twitter: @jeffsimmermon. Just rock up to me whenever, it’s fine. I’ll be the tall bald-headed white guy with bourbon in one hand and barbecue in the other. Just to narrow it down a little, I’ll have on glasses and also some Converse.

If you know of any cool bands, parties, or shows, do please let me know. This thing is overwhelming, to say the least.

Hope to see you there.

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Not the World We Know, But an Exciting Place to Explore!

January 31st, 2011 by D.Billy

I have learned that there is a SUPERVOLCANO (which is a real thing not made up by an 8-year-old kid, apparently,) underneath Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. This supervolcano has erupted in the past, and was possibly partially responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. According to one guy (who keeps saying “million” when he means “thousand”, which you’d think would be problematic for a physicist,) it WILL erupt again, and everybody who lives in the huge area depicted here will be pretty well f*cked.

Coincidentally, on the same day that I learned that 11 U.S. states and 3 Canadian provinces are just incontrovertibly screwed six ways to Sunday, I came across this amazing and hilarious Jack Kirby drawing from 1972 of what our future might look like after “A GREAT CATACLYSM!”:

Image taken from Kamandi #1, Via the always excellent Comic Book Cartography.

Also, Discovery Channel has a pretty cool interactive explanation of the supervolcano.
BOOM. For real.

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Wonder Woman: A How-To Guide for Little Jewish Girls

January 28th, 2011 by Jeff Simmermon

Cyndi’s taking a bit of a break from blogging here to do something a lot more intense, personal, gratifying and fantastic.

You may know her from the NYC burlesque scene as the fabulous Cherry Pitz — she does a spectacular routine with Vincent Price’s disembodied voice. (Link goes to video that may be considered unsafe for work, but inarguably awesome.)

Now she’s working on a one-woman show show that traces her journey from a little suburban Jewish girl obsessed with Wonder Woman to a fabulous burlesque Queen in NYC.

The show’s called Wonder Woman: A How-To Guide for Little Jewish Girls.

Wonder Woman - A How-To Guide for LIttle Jewish Girls
Read the rest of this entry »

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Harryhausen’s Outback Showdown: Deliver or Die, Skippy

January 20th, 2011 by Jeff Simmermon
Harryhausen's Outback Showdown

I’ve been writing and editing and re-writing my story for this Monday’s Moth GrandSLAM, just scribbling it over and over on a legal pad to make sure I’ve got it. The theme is “Into the Wild,” which poses a challenge. I’ve pretty much told and re-told what I like to think is a pretty solid story on that theme. I’ve told that thing right into the red dirt, to be honest. I’m sure my friends, family, and the odd person I am totally trying to impress is sick to their guts of it. I think I’ve worn a track in my brain from repeating it so damn much.

I got one of the best passive-aggressive guilt trips about this that I’ve ever had from anyone that wasn’t my own mother recently. She’s a great friend I met through the Moth, and when I suggested I wanted to visit that old incarnation of that story for the theme, she said “Yeah, I mean, you could do that. But if you won with it, I think you’d feel pretty cheap.”

She’s right. So I’m working on it, but brother, you never know you’ve got something until it’s over and done with. The challenge here is to find other material in that experience, stuff that didn’t make the first cut and massaging it into something brand-new.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Hotsy Totsy Burlesque Presents: HARRY POTTER AND THE BOOBIES OF FIRE!

December 20th, 2010 by Brad Lawrence

Cherry Pitz and Joe the Shark are proud to present:

Hotsy Totsy Burlesque presents Harry Potter and the Boobies of Fire

Hotsy Totsy Burlesque is back with…


at The Delancey Lounge

Tuesday, Dec 21st – 9:30 PM – $8

168 Delancey Street, NYC (between Clinton and Attorney.) Map here. Just 2 blocks from the Delancey/Essex subway stop (F/J/M/Z) in Manhattan.

That’s right, Hotsy Totsy Burlesque is celebrating the holiday season with everyone’s favorite group of magical teens!

Will He Who Shall Not Be Named ruin Hannukah and Christmas for us?

Featuring Coney Island’s own ADAM ‘THE FIRST REAL MAN”

and more!

Check out the swell photos from our production of DR WHO BURLESQUE. And check out a great review of our DR WHO show @Vitamin C4.

Archives Posts

The Sense of Right Alliance

December 17th, 2010 by D.Billy

Last night in a “discount store” in Prospect Heights, I came across an amazing little item. See, not only have factories in China been producing unauthorized knockoffs of popular toys (which is nothing new)… it seems like they’re hitting the “shuffle” button with whatever figures they have left in stock, and coming up with new super-teams too! Case in point: the SENSE OF RIGHT ALLIANCE!

Apparently, a robot-armed Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, the yellow Power Ranger, The Thing, and a redheaded Reed Richards and have teamed up…


And on top of this already delicious ridiculousness, when I took a closer look at their approximation of Superman:

…I immediately made this association:

God, I love this stuff.
PREVIOUSLY IN FOREIGN PLAYTIME ODDITIES: Coming to America Wrapped in Plastic and Cardboard


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Internet Memes for Art Nerds

November 4th, 2010 by D.Billy

Prancing Richard Serra

Sad Kiki Smith

Robert Rauschenberg’s “Bed” Intruder

Send us your art-nerdified meme at!

Archives Posts

Eliza Skinner: The Only Thing Better Than a Dance Movie is a Vampire Dance Movie

October 1st, 2010 by Jeff Simmermon

My old friend Eliza Skinner is a wizard at improv comedy, stand-up, and musical improv comedy. She performs with the musical improv comedy groups Diamond Lion and Baby Wants Candy, does stand-up all over New York and is the person who is personally responsible for getting me into The Moth and storytelling in general. I’m pretty much always going to be grateful for that.

A lot of New Yorkers keep a folded-up copy of the New Yorker poking out of their tote bag and talk all about Mad Men and This American Life all the time, then go home and gobble trashy pop culture like they have some kind of cultural eating disorder. Eliza doesn’t front like that — she loves what she loves and she loves it real hard. Like Tyler Perry movies, comic books and dance movies.

Here, she’s fused her love of both vampire movies and dance movies: “The only thing better than a dance movie is a vampire dance movie.”

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