I was an extra in the pilot for a zombie romantic comedy this weekend — another one of my friend Eliza’s zany schemes to dominate Internet comedy. We filmed at Planet Rose Karaoke in the East Village, a small karaoke bar painted bright red with a lot of zebra-print furniture and a leopard-print carpet filthy enough to shock John Waters.

It looked like everyone in the bar had been simultaneously kidnapped by aliens at closing time the night before. There were beer bottles everywhere, the bar was all sticky, and a lashing of vomit festooned the edge of the men’s toilet. Using my highly trained sense of party forensics, I deduced that it’s pretty fun place to be on a Saturday night.

I played the bartender in a club scene where this guy nervously navigates a rebound after a bad breakup with a nightmare woman who talks in baby talk, drinks Sprite and tequila and hates listening to music. We spent all day shooting a scene that will probably take five minutes to watch, tops. We did a lot of taking and retaking, hearing the same lines again and again. That’s how it goes when you’re shooting pretty much anything — the difference being that since everyone on camera was a really good improv comedian, each take was funny in a different, distinct way while still using the same old words.

That’s why I love doing Eliza’s shoots — I always met really cool people. Like my new friend Lou.

Lou’s one half of a comedy duo called Greg and Lou Present Lou and Greg. You might recognize ‘em from their video Office Pornwhich did pretty well on Digg a little while back.

They’re putting on a show tomorrow night at UCB, too — here’s the info:

Greg and Lou Present Lou and Greg in: The Fuck-It List
Written by Greg Burke, Lou Perez, and AJ Morales

Thursday May 8th, 6:30 PM at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
307 West 26th street @ 8th Ave (map here)

Tickets are $5, reservations here

I’d be there my damn self if I weren’t booked solid already, for real. Lou was cracking me up all day Sunday, and he’s sure a nice young man who deserves five lousy bucks. Here’s Office Porn, just as a taste — more videos here.

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Eliza Skinner is performing her one-woman show “Shameless!” for one night only at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater on Wednesday, February 27th.

Time Out New York said that

Both in her writing and in her nuanced performance, Skinner wrenches humor from awkward circumstances and cringe-inducing comments … And you will love her.

It’s true. Eliza plays a catty girl at a nightclub, a young mother who seduces teenaged boys, and a mom whose need to be adored just barely exceeds her need to seem cool. All three characters are as lovable as they are loathsome. Their neediness is colossal — you just want to give them each a great big hug but run screaming at the same time.

Eliza just posted another video from “Shameless” on Funny or Die. Her other video from the same show got over 4000 Diggs and turned her into a weird kind of internet celeb when it posted a month or so ago … I wouldn’t be surprised if the same thing happened again.

If you look carefully, you’ll see that the video was done all in one take.”Shameless” is not to be missed … it’s hilarious and heartbreaking, and you’ll know that soon you can turn to your friends at a party and say “yeah, I saw her back when …”

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My friend Eliza is the bee’s knees, the wasp’s nipples, the delicately tapered neck of a praying mantis. She was one of the first friends I had my first semester in college, and we’ve been buds ever since. Now she’s a standup and improv comedian here in New York — she’s taught improv comedy at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, she’s one half of the comedy musical improv duo I Eat Pandas, and she’s had a one-woman show at the UCB Theater.

The following video is a clip from her one-woman show “Shameless.” (audio NSFW):

You can see a lot more of her videos here.This video has been tracking very well on “Funny or Die”, hit the front page of College Humor yesterday, and made the front page of Digg this afternoon. It is safe to guess that a million people have seen her work in the past few days, and I’m glad for her — she’s worked really hard for a really long time to get her name out, and this kind of trafiic could be the key to some well-deserved success.

Unfortunately, not everyone is as ardent a fan of hers as I am. Just because people online look at you a lot doesn’t mean they’re nice to you AT ALL. Check out some of the comments, lifted from Digg and College Humor:

“i vote to ethniclly cleanse all woman like that, btw her face is shot.”
“she was uglyyy, this is when the brown paper bag comes into play.”
“not a good tooth to gum ratio …”
“not a good face to blemish ratio”

I know, I know, everyone’s an asshole on the Internet. It’s true. We’ve all seen — and maybe written — things that are kind harsh. But man, this really drives it home, seeing a friend get crapped on by a bunch of fifteen year-olds like this. What really sucks is that this isn’t even true — this is written by a bunch of 15-25 year-olds who are comparing a real human being on a tight production budget to hundreds of professionally retouched Jessica Alba photos.

We chatted about it online a little, Eliza and I. Here’s her take:

they keep saying i have bad acne. I have no zits in that video. must be my moles. awesome

the thing that sucks is, nobody looks at a Jonah Hill clip and says
OMG he is so fat!!!11!! When Will (former comedy partner) and I both blew up on funny or die at the same time
all his negative comments were like “you’re lame” and mine bordered on “I’m gonna rape you, uggo”

all this attention is nice, but it’s sort of like being in a frat party. not in a cool way. in a very rapey vibe way.

I mean, I know to picture them all sad and angry and furiously masturbating to the smell of their mom’s hairbrushes but it’s still tough when tons of strangers picks at weird ways I’m ugly to them.

honestly, I am understanding why celebrities get plastic surgery much better now.

Again, this is not news, but comedy is hard on women, man. It’s not enough to be funny. You’ve got to be pretty — and fight the dominant stereotype that pretty women arent’ funny — or be unattractive, and get called fat all the time. Dane Cook’s a good-looking idiot and nobody expected Mitch Hedberg to have abs of steel.

I don’t really have an answer for this or anything. All I’m saying is that I wish that my old friends’ sudden Internet fame didn’t carry such an immediately bitter taste. On the one hand, it’s awesome that one can become an immediate celebrity, literally overnight. On the other, it really sucks that that celebrity comes with all the tabloid pressure and none of the money.

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The cast and crew of NBC’s “30 Rock” performed live to a standing-room only audience at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre last night. According to writer/actress/nerd goddess Tina Fey in a brief pre-show monologue, every penny of the proceeds benefited the show’s PAs, who have been out of work since the beginning of the ongoing writer’s strike.

Please don’t leak any of the story or jokes to the Internet,

Fey asked,

because, y’know, this show is like ‘Heroes’ and we don’t want to ruin it for everyone else. Also, all of you who bought tickets to this show off of Craigslist for hundreds of dollars are suckers … this is going to be on TV for free in a few weeks. We hope …

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