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Aquaman Zen : Giant Crabs Help

May 2nd, 2009 by D.Billy

Giant Crabs Help

Previously on Aquaman Zen: Alarmed Viewers

Archives Posts

Aquaman Zen : Alarmed Viewers

April 13th, 2009 by D.Billy

Alarmed Viewers

A while back, I came across a 1968 Big Little Book featuring Aquaman, in a story titled “Scourge of the Sea“. The book is beat to hell, with the binding glue failing and pages falling out, the cover is creased in half with Aquaman’s face gouged out by repeated scribbling with a ballpoint pen, and there are a few holes where the assailant then stabbed the book with said pen… but the contents are gold. Specifically, the captioned illustrations… which are weird and wonderful little self-contained tableaus when taken out of context. I plan to share these illustration pages here for your quiet reflection, in no particular order and without their supporting story text, whenever I feel like it.
This is… Aquaman Zen.

Archives Posts

SPAMtastic: Prejudice, Conspiracy Theory, Has-Been Boxing, and the Tragic Loss of Britney Spears

July 24th, 2008 by D.Billy

I’m one of those people who tries to keep my Inbox relatively clean.  I fail miserably, but at least I want it to be more uncluttered than it is, and I think that aspiration counts for something.  However, one battle front on which I am an unequivocal victor is that of the Spam folder.  I manually delete that shit before Gmail even has the chance to do it for me.  When empty, the Spam folder displays the text “Hooray, no spam here!” and I think, “You’re goddamn right there isn’t.”

But once in a while, the universe sees fit to bestow upon me a piece of electronic junk mail so wonderful and perfect, so beautifully off-kilter in either its subject line or content, that it gives pause to my ‘delete’ finger.  Case in point, this message that I received yesterday:

Such a simple and perfect non-sequitur.

Or is it?

One day later, I received this little nugget from a different address:

Holy christ!
What seemed at first like total random word generation has suddenly turned into a somewhat linear pseudo-narrative!  Whatever the fuck nekkid Britney did in that video to expose the secret trifecta has apparently caused her untimely demise, and set off a chain of events that will undoubtedly lead to the King of Pop having one of his plastic ears bitten off on pay-per-view. I’m keeping my eyes peeled for the next installment of this saga to get caught in my mail filters.

(NOTE: Yes, I blurred the links. And I deleted the messages after I took the screenshots.  If we click on spam links, even in the name of investigative internet comedy-journalism, then the terrorists have won.  Besides, whatever they linked to could never be as good as the stories y’all are forming right now.)

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