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Time For Some Stories

April 22nd, 2008 by Jeff Simmermon

The problem with writing stories, actual stories for a blog is that, eventually, you run out. You’ve got to post daily, more or less (less in my case) and eventually you hit Peak Story, where you’ve told all the ones you’ve lived and are now reduced to writing about things you experienced while on your ass in front of a screen.

At least, that’s been my experience. Writing a fresh, original story every day is freaking exhausting. And just because someone has a few good stories, they don’t necessarily have a good blog.

Storylog.com aggregates great stories from all over the web, publishing at least one solid one daily. This is exactly what I want when I’m reading blogs — actual, well-done storytelling delivered daily and reliably.

This one, below, is one of my favorites, taken from a special section called simply “Time For Some Stories.

From the site:

(These) stories were copied from a message board thread on vivavinyl.org because they needed to be preserved for posterity. Every single one of these stories was written by a seriously cool Canadian man in his mid-20s who goes by the username “davesecretary“ … They are presented below in their original form: IN ALL CAPS.

Usually, all caps infuriates me, but here I think it adds an air of breathless excitement, like a little kid is telling you about the coolest thing that JUST happened outside!!!

Anyway, here goes:

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RIGHT SO IT’S KINDERGARTEN AND IT’S SPRING AND EVERYTHING IS THAWING AND MUDDY. AND ALL THE KIDS HAVE THOSE RUBBER BOOTS THAT GO UP TO OUR WAISTS. THE THING TO DO IN THE MORNING BEFORE CLASS STARTS IS TO FIND A BUDDY, GO FIND A NICE SOFT MUDDY SPOT IN THE PLAYGROUND SOMEWHERE, FACE YOUR FRIEND AND START SQUISHING YOUR WAY DOWN IN THE MUD UNTIL IT’S ALMOST UP TO YOUR WAIST.

WE DID THIS BECAUSE IT WAS FUN. SO KYLE AND I ARE FACING EACH OTHER AND BOGGING OUR WAY DOWN IN THIS MUD PUDDLE. WE GET IT ALMOST TO THE POINT WHERE THE MUD WILL START TO SEEP INTO OUR RUBBER BOOTS. I LOOK AT KYLE AND SAY “HEY KYLE, CAN YOU DO THIS?!” AND I TAKE MY FOOT OUT OF THE BOOT, WIGGLE MY LITTLE SOCKED TOES IN THE SPRING AIR FOR A FEW SECONDS, AND PUT MY LEG BACK IN MY BOOT, WHICH IS FIRMLY LODGED IN MUD.

“YES I CAN!!” KYLE SHOUTS BACK AT ME DESPITE ME BEING ONLY A FOOT AWAY FROM HIM. KYLE TAKES HIS FOOT OUT OF HIS BOOT AND IMMEDIATLY FALLS BACKWARDS INTO THE MUD. BECAUSE ONE LEG IS STILL IN THE BOOT HE IS KIND OF PINNED. THE SUCTION FROM THE MUD IS TOO MUCH FOR HIM TO SIT UP, AND HE CAN’T TURN OVER BECAUSE HIS LEG IS STUCK IN THE BOOT.

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